Moving Day

Here's some of our mess...Old beige desk...New gray desk... our new office is really nice. It's nice that I can take the stairs for exercise too.

We spent a few weeks getting ready for an office move that literally happened overnight. We left Friday and came into our new office Monday morning and computers were up and running, things were unpacked, and all we had to do was unpack our desks.

On a random side note: when people walk around it shakes the floor and shakes my computer monitors. I get motion sick easily and was sick the first day here. On lunch I bought Dramamine; it's helping while I get used to my new shaking desk/floor. I feel lame that I'm getting motion sickness just sitting at my desk.

During the move, I took a table out to my car on a hand truck. When I got back to my desk I talked to a friend/coworker about chivalry because she watched me walk by 3 men and only one of them made eye contact (and he said, “hello”). Not that I expected them to help, after all, I took the table out by myself because it wasn’t that difficult to manage. Here’s the “but” you’re probably expecting…but, it would have been nice to know chivalry isn’t dead and there are still men out there that will lend a woman a hand. I’m lucky to have a husband that will drop anything and everything to help and I’m also lucky to have family and friends that will do the same thing; the general public isn’t so chivalrous.

And on another note, why don’t people bother to make eye contact? I’ve taken a bunch of different classes over the years, but regarding this topic specifically: karate, psychology, and self defense. Because of these classes I’ve always held my head up and made eye contact with those around me; I was taught that it shows confidence and keeps me from being an easy target/victim. I thought, “Hmmm, I’m going to look it up.” And this is what I found…

From Wikipedia (I’m not a big fan of this site and was warned as a college student not to use it, but here you go anyways):

Eye contact is a meeting of the eyes between two individuals.

In human beings, eye contact is a form of nonverbal communication and is thought to have a large influence on social behavior. Coined in the early to mid-1960s, the term has come in the West to often define the act as a meaningful and important sign of confidence and social communication. The customs and significance of eye contact vary widely between cultures, with religious and social differences often altering its meaning greatly.

Then I found http://www.bremercommunications.com/Eye_Contact.htm:

Some people struggle to make eye contact with others, which is a basic component of social interaction. Failing to make eye contact suggests to some that you're shy; to others, it indicates rudeness or boredom. Some people have the opposite problem. Making eye contact for a long time can indicate you're very outgoing; to others it indicates aggression and over-confidence

Although this process is as natural as breathing for many people, it's difficult for some.

Steps

Relax! As with anything else, the more you think about it, the more self-conscious you'll become. Your nervousness can then be misinterpreted.

Concentrate on one eye. Switching from left to right and back all the time will make you appear insecure, inattentive, and confused. It may help to prefer the left eye, because the right side of the brain controls emotions but controls the left side of the body. And if you don't believe this, just pretend you did, because you have to choose an eye anyway.

Avoid staring. Just look directly into the person's eye in a relaxed manner. Remind yourself that you are hoping to have a pleasant conversation with this person -- there's no need to be anxious.

Listen. During the conversation, if you focus completely on what that person is saying, you won't have to worry about making eye contact correctly; if you are truly listening, you will just naturally focus your eyes on their eyes. Remember that maintaining eye contact is how you quietly prove to a person that you are interested in what they're saying. It's a vital way to demonstrate respect.

Show Eye Magnetism. Try not to look away instantly when something else calls for your attention. If somebody calls you, don't look away as if you just got rescued from a boring conversation. Instead, slightly hesitate before looking at your caller. Looking away then quickly looking back is also a good idea. Remember though, important disruptions such as dangerous or priority interruptions warrant instant attention.

Smile with your eyes. Smiling with your eyes generates a more relaxed feel, which needed for a nice casual conversation. Hostile eyes or false smiles tend to make uncomfortable conversations and the person will probably try to end the conversation.