Mother's Day Heartbreak

My mom posted these pictures on Mother's Day:

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

Even pet moms!  Breanna made a cute online card from Ruger and Winnie for me.  It was super cute.

Glenn & my mom went down to see family and these pictures were taken:

Look how cute this idea is!  It's a great idea until you realize it's $600 for the lower piece and just as much for a piece to go on top of this one:

They passed out:

What the Oz ornaments will look like.... hopefully:

Winnie trying to get attention:

I saved this picture so Doug and I could make a tractor out of feet for Glenn - that will come up in a later post:

Grandma Foster had a big stroke on the evening of Mother's Day.  My mom went to see her the next morning and knew she wasn't coming back from it.  She called everyone to let them know she wasn't doing well.  I drank a hot cocoa to drown the sorrow a tiny bit.  I waited each day to hear how she was doing and waited for the time to leave work and be there for my mom and grandma.

One of my favorite pictures of grandma:

When I would stop and stare out the window at work (while I waited for the next update about grandma) I swear heart shaped clouds kept breezing by:

Winnie with a dirty food mouth:

My mom called and said the doctor was in to see grandma and they only expected her to live another few days, so I left work and headed to be with them.  I called the local ward up there and a couple men came to give grandma a blessing.  Here are some flowers outside the nursing home:

My mom and I chatted for a while and she told me to take a few things since she would be clearing it all out soon and shipping pieces to the family.  Here are a couple things I took:

Becky and I are making friends with this squirrel:

Playing, but won't put down her woobie:

A pretty sunrise:

I think Winnie knew I was sad, so she came to cuddle:

I guess she didn't want to get all the way off the couch. haha:

Sunrise May 11th.  I waited for the next call from my mom, finished some work and then went up to spend the next couple days/nights at the nursing home:

My mom had my grandma moved to a private room and there was a bunny that  lived outside.  It's so cute and soft:

On the way up the hill I stopped to get some snacks and things to do along with a prescription for my mom.  While at the pharmacy I asked to speak with a woman who used to work at the nursing home.  My mom said she knows grandma very well.  The poor woman didn't take the news well.  I barely got the words that grandma could pass within the day or two out and she was beginning to cry and walked away.  Here was my loot for the night:

Mom and I went out to dinner and I took a picture of this painting in the nursing home hallway:

When we got back from dinner there was a meal in grandma's room.  She could not eat or drink.  At all.  Apparently they still have to offer her food, which is weird but I partially understand it:

Mom eventually left for the evening, so I finished coloring a page in the book I picked up:

I spent the night playing relaxing music for grandma, reading to her, talking to her, watching television and attempting to get a little sleep.  Sleeping was impossible since her air bed was very noisy, a woman down the hall was screaming and grandma's breathing was very labored and it sounded like she was choking.  At one point grandma paused between breaths for about 15 seconds.  It was a 15 seconds that felt like 5 minutes.  I jumped out of the chair and stood by her side.  I had a small thought that I should call my mom back, but grandma was back in her breathing routine and I wanted my mom to be rested when she came back for another day of waiting and sitting.  I partially thought if the gurgling in her throat would stop her breathing it would end her suffering and she would finally be at peace.  I rang for the nursing staff to suction her throat and give her meds.  They did and I settled back into the chair near her.  A few hours later she paused in her breathing again.  I called my mom as her breathing became more odd than it already was.  I said, "I think I'm watching grandma take her last breaths. I haven't told anyone, so get here."  She said she was on her way.  A couple minutes later grandma wasn't breathing at all. Again, I waited a bit to see if she would begin breathing again.  I was sort of trying to stall while my mom was hurrying to get there.  I waited a couple more minutes and knew I needed to tell the staff.  Two nurses came in to call the time of death.  I called my mom back and told her what was going on and said to drive carefully!

The wheels were in motion.  Hospice was called and grandma was in a better place.

Mom and I sat for hours through the early morning hours.  The bunny came to visit a few times

Decorations from an event in the lobby of the nursing home: